I just had groceries delivered and I am feeling like a schizophrenic "dieter." On one hand, I bought low calorie bread, lots of fresh vegetables, sugar free desserts, and lean protein sources (lots of them). On the other hand, I bought a dozen doughnuts, potatoes and rice, and lots of full fat cheese. I'm trying to tell myself that it is okay to make baby steps in the right direction rather than throwing myself all in. But there's a little voice in the back of my mind telling me that I am not fully committed to a lifestyle change and that the "small" concessions I am making are for show. I'm not sure which part of me to listen to. Which one represents honesty and which one represents self-sabotage? It's not so easy to tell.
As for my weekly goals of not weighing myself and eating three meals every day...I'm doing just okay. I weighed myself...the very first day. I didn't attach much emotion to the number on the scale (improvement), but I was a little disappointed that I couldn't even make it one day without weighing myself. I think I will do better today. I'm not feeling the same urge to weigh myself. It is true what they say...old habits die hard. I have been doing well with eating three times a day. As expected, my (almost) five month old son is not a fan of this. Even if he is napping when I start a meal, he wakes right up, gives me a dirty look and starts fussing. My husband and I joke that my son has a rule that I am not allowed to eat and has some supernatural radar that alerts him when I'm trying to. I think he will adjust...but I was serenaded through yesterday's breakfast and lunch by the sound of baby crying. Fun times.
Overall, I'm feeling calm...but almost too calm about this attempt at losing weight. There is no sense of urgency and there should be...I am morbidly obese. Hopefully I can just keep improving little by little, one day at a time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment